Whenever I step outside, somebody claims to see the light...

I am an avid gamer. It’s always been one of my personal interests to be involved in electronic gaming, almost of any genre. Earlier today, I tried out this game, a typical World War II type of game... or so I thought. I’ve read good reviews on this one particular game, so decided to give it a whirl myself. The whole time I was playing it, I kept thinking to myself... is this what really those people from World War II went through? Man.

A bit about the game itself... it’s a shooting type game, in where you control the Allies of WW2. I haven’t seen or heard of a game in where you can actually control the Axis, but perhaps it’s better that way. Anyway, it was surprisingly... life-like. The game itself, I mean. How the game works is that it brings around all these WW2 settings, Stalingrad being one of them. You, a simple, freshly recruited, nervous private, fight through the Axis lines, along with several of your “comrades.” Now, this isn’t gon’ a game review in where I jus’ praise the game about all its good things. What really hit me the most was how you go through the map with several of your comrades, shooting away. Next thing you know, a mortar lands several feet away from you, sparing you, but taking out your fellow soldiers. What a sinking feeling that must’ve been.

Enough about the game. What disturbed me the most about it was the whole concept of war... it sucks. Majorly. Big time. I’m sure I’m not the first to say what I’m about to... that what is the point of a war? It also came to me that war itself has been “glorified” by Hollywood, the media, or even people in general. They’ve given the concept that war is about glory... about one side proving themselves by wiping out the bad guys, and usually even a hero at the end of it. Sickening. War is about death. It doesn’t matter who dies, it’s not a pretty thought. I’ve disliked and hated people in my life, but not enough to kill them. I don’t think I’d ever have the nads to point a gun at a helpless guy’s face, and jus’ mercilessly pull the trigger. Call me a wuss, call me an idiot... But I place too much value on life itself. War doesn’t. That’s what nauseates me.

There is this one element in the game in where when you shoot the enemy, it doesn’t kill them, so they’re on their back, coughing for breath, but they still draw out their pistol. Now, since it’s a game, and the point in playing a video game is keeping your character alive, you have to shoot the guy in self-defense, right? Yeah. I thought to myself... Wow, what a shitty feeling it must’ve been to shoot a person in the head, with sorrow and helplessness in his eyes. Unless you’re some blood-hungry, egomaniacal, psychopathic lunatic out for a manhunt. If such is the case, then that person needs some serious therapy.

I know and have heard of people who actually “like” war... for the sake that it wipes out, eradicates people. Do these people actually take pleasure in seeing one man’s life being taken away against his own will? Sheesh. I also know for a fact that some Americans out there still think bombing Hiroshima was a mistake, jus’ as much as Germans regretting their mistake decades ago. There is no glory in war. People die... and not jus’ the soldiers. Families are forever broken, or young ones, who’ve never experienced a full life, die in a split-second. Literally. I already know some major-pessimist who may think that better for them to die now than it would be for them to experience a bitter, harsh life. I say to that... Lighten up, man. Who died and made you God?

I am also reminded of the time I recently had a “beer conversation” with a friend, and our drunken slurring eventually brought us to the US-Iraq situation. He pondered the thought of jus’ bombing that part of the Middle East, to take out Mr. Osama and his lackeys. Of course, I retorted with the moral issue of whether it’s right to sacrifice a million people to eliminate a few dozen, at most. Of course not. Then again, by letting those few dozen live, they have the capability to wipe out a million people, or more. Which jus’ sums it all up... War brings about no real solution, so why bother starting one?

That game kinda gave me a small perception of what it’s like to be in a war... and I didn’t like it. The feeling alone of knowing, not thinking, that your number might be up anytime, that it could all be over in a flash. The feeling of seeing your comrades die right in front of you, and you not being able to do a thing about it. The feeling of getting popped by someone you’ve never met in your life. The feeling of having to pop someone you’ve never met in your life. I know it may sound ridiculous, and people might think I’m on something and/or I’m overreacting. To that I say... Up yours. I say what I want, when I want.

“Death is the only solution - No man, no war.” – Joseph Stalin

“Where there is man, there will always be war.” – Albert Einstein

Are we that savage that war and violence is part of human nature?

Listen, you... Think of all of the time we've wasted...

So... it's been another what... two months since my last post? Ah, that's vintage Monch!

Seriously now... Jus' killin' time once again, thinkin' of stuff goin left and right, in and out of my head.

Well, I finally got the guitar back yesterday... After a three-week hiatus. Man, I played that thing... Well, not 'til my fingers bled, or so claimed Bryan Adams (Summer of '69), but I played it 'til it hurt. My moms practically forced me to learn the guitar... and I kinda liked it. After that, though, there were three, or was it even four years, that I didn't even pick up a guitar. It was only a couple of months ago that I decided to finally pick up, and practically relearn playing the guitar. The point of the story?

It's really a different type of high when you make your own music, with the help of an instrument of course. I'm not talkin' about creatin' music by belching and farting, although that's pretty hilarious, too. But really, it's such a... feeling strumming away, feeling the rhythm, feeling the beat. For that five minutes that you're playin a song, you literally jus' forget everything around. I've actually gotten to trouble because of that fact.

I sound like a hippie.

Anyway, one thing I still haven't been able to do is compose, write music and all that. I'm sure that must feel great. I've been working on it.

Later today, it's time to get 'high' once again.

Holla.