You bleed, you learn...

Wow. I jus checked as to when I updated this last... Jan 12, 2k6. In two days, that's exactly two months! No wait, not really... February has less than 30 days. Ah, screw it.

Week's over, so that means the weekend's here... But it ain't gon' be like any other weekend. Jam ain't gon' be here with us. Err... I mean this isn't the first time we wouldn't see him for the weekend, since we knew the.....

THIS INTERNET CAFE IS SO FUCKING NOISY.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Jam. Since we knew we'd see him the weekend after, or real soon. Well, this time we won't see him for another thirty-six months or so. Wow.

To be honest, I have seemed a bit indifferent about it. I guess it's a defensive mechanism, really. When people act indifferent, even a bit cold, towards somethin' or someone, in order to make themselves... You get the point.

I could use a cigarette right about now.

I really should quit smokin'. Who am I kidding.

You know, as much as we hate to see Jam leave, one can't help but feel happy about him. Perhaps that's why I'm not as much as an emotional wreck as I thought. I mean, Jam is leaving, to greener pastures, if you will. Let's jus' say... the grass is all dried out on this side of the pasture.

I mean, we wouldn't be his real friends if we were bitter about him leaving. Sure, we're sad, but we aren't bitter. Unless, of course, if one of us left the country jus' to follow around his/her abusive boyfriend/girlfriend. We're glad for him at the same time, well, I am... 'coz I know that him moving out is a good opportunity for himself to grow. In a way, I kinda envy him. Of course, I'm sure Jam's a bit sad about his leaving, but hey... people should think first of themselves, anybody else second. Taking a bullet? Ficitional.

As much as I hate to admit it sometimes, this really is survival of the fittest. Dog eat dog. Man eat pork. Really, though. You ain't gon' get anywhere jus' by sittin' on your ass, and expect mama and papa to pay for your Lamborghinis. If there are any Hollywood-type brats out there, I hope they realize that even if mama and papa hand them down an MNE, it's not gon' run itself. I jus' read an article about children of some of China's most successful businessmen. I think there's a Chinese word for that... Mu-tse. That's "mooch", by the way.

Dog eat dog. Samaritans don't exist in this world. The last one was in the Biblical times, dated centuries ago. Literally. Martyrs? They're called martrys 'coz they die. I'm not tryin' to discourage anyone out there who feels like they can 'change the world.' Go ahead. It's your life, and I have no right in interferring in it... but I do have the right to my own opinion. The world can't be changed; the world changes you.

I learned that the hard way.

For once, the title of my post makes sense to my point. You bleed, you learn. The classic tale of the moth and the flame.

A lot of people live in fairy tale worlds.

It's nice to dream once in a while.

God bless you, Jam. Be safe, and be back.

Holla.