While in the arms of slumber... gonna leave it all behind.

In relation to my last post, that three to four year sabbatical were some of the best of my life. When it came to an abrupt end, I lost it. I was devastated, I was hurt, I was (insert adjective here).

It even came to the point when I tried to physically hurt someone.. and it wasn't just anyone. It was someone I can comfortably call a friend, and I tried to physically hurt him. I guess I have him to thank, he could've easily broken my jaw that night, but instead, he subdued me, told me to calm the fuck down.

As to why I did it? I don't think I'll ever know. I was jus so fucking pissed at anything and everything that night. I jus wanted to hit something... something that felt it.

Dreams. What are they? As a student of the mind myself, I've never really been able to figure it out. Not even the 'greatest' psychoanalyst of our time was able to, and God knows he tried.

I've had two dreams that've recently stood out in my mind in recent times.

The first occurred about a month and a half ago. I still vividly remember it, partly because the setting of that dream was in my very own home - the place where you think, you feel you'd be safest.

Someone... 'close' came to came in that dream. i don't remember any of the other stuff we talked of, but she asked to get back together with me. I said no. Why? Because I was seeing someone else at that time, and it was true. She then asked - 'So you'd rather go after someone who doesn't even know the way she feels about you, than be with someone who for sure will be with you, and knows how they feel about you?'

I woke up with cold sweat that morning. I'm not the type of person who perspires when they sleep. In fact, I can't remember the last time I woke up in cold sweat from a dream, and I've had my fair share of bad dreams.

The second dream that stood out, for me, just happened several nights ago. First, let me start by narrating the characters - there was myself, of course, person A, person C, and person B, who as I remember, was named Miya, or Maya... I'm inclined to think it was Miya. I remembered that. She did not look like anyone I know or have met, and I credit myself with having a pretty good memory.

As for the setting, it actually spanned across several - Boracay beach, inside a van/bus, and at the BTC parking lot playing rugby with an orange and black Nerf football. Yeah. Go figure.

'Miya' always tried to set me up with person C. I don't even remember what person C looked like. I jus know that in that dream, both me and person C had no interest in each other. It was Miya herself who kept saying stuff like he's a really good guy and all that - So yeah, it was Miya who was interested in me. But I saw her as the friend. In that dream, I was interested in person A. As for person A, I don't remember what she looked like, either - I jus know that I know her. Long wavy dark hair, light skin color (almost pale), and for some reason, ample sized breasts. Person A wouldn't give me the light of day. However, whenever she'd see that Miya and me would be hitting it off, she's immediately get in the way of it. While we were in that van/bus, Miya sat in front of me, and I was beside person A. Miya and I were really hitting it off, talking about God knows what. When person A saw that Miya and I were starting to get a bit too comfortable with each other, she would purposefully get physical with me, jus to see the hurt on Miya's face - and she would derive a sick, twisted pleasure out of it. The sad part is, I didn't even seem to mind. I remember that when I'd finally decided to go look for Miya, I could no longer find her.

One of the of the more interesting parts of this whole sequence was Miya's appearance. I know that I've never seen her before, and yet, if I saw her face in a crowd, I think I'd be able to spot her. She was short, had a healthy tan, shoulder length hair, a hint of Oriental ancestry in her, and a certain charm to her.. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go on some wild goose chase to look for the 'girl of my dreams.'

What does this all mean? I don't know. Frankly, I don't think I should care, either. But I'd by lying if I said I didn't think about it a couple of times.

Comfort of my dream, I resign myself to you.